Eden is that old-fashioned House

    In the poem "Eden is that old-fashioned House", Emily Dickinson discusses the similarities between leaving the comforts of a nostalgic, "old-fashioned" house and the perils Adam and Eve faced after being banished out of the garden of Eden. She describes Eden as a place where they are sheltered from the rest of the world, unaware of good and evil. By drawing this comparison, she is able to highlight how they are able to live in ignorance of the issues they would otherwise face in the outside world. Dickinson does this by referring to it as an "old-fashioned house" which elicits a feeling of comfort and security. Perhaps the best example of Adam and Eve being unsuspecting of their garden home is the speed with which they eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. By saying "Unconscious our returning,/But discover it no more" Dickinson is referring to how after eating the fruit and gaining the knowledge of what good and evil are, they are then unable to find the innocence they once had. Once God removes them from the garden, they are technically able to grow their own food and farm from their own land just like somebody is able to find a new home, but they will never be free from the fear that something could go drastically wrong at any moment. It goes along with one of the major themes of life that as you get older you learn more, but you also have to deal with the consequences of your knowledge. Knowing all that could go wrong creates stress as you try to plan to prevent it, and our biblical protagonists' removal from Eden threw them directly into the fray of real life worries. 

     I would say that my situation is not unlike Adam and Eve's, but I do think I am slightly more exposed to what can happen outside of the world of perfect innocence. A lot of this is because I have not been dwelling in one home for my whole life. The summer going into my freshman year of high school my parents got divorced, and I lost a bit of my innocence. I am still sheltered, but I would say I have a little more experience with serious adjustments going into college than Adam and Eve had when they were banished from Eden. In my specific case there will be more flying than driving since I'm going to college 3,200 miles away, so I imagine there will be a lot for me to adjust to. There is a certain feeling of security that comes with knowing that help is only a short distance away, and leaving the home and garden takes that security away. I certainly have a lot of decorations in my room that remind me of what I used to be interested in and how I have changed and grown over the years, and I would imagine that when I return, even if only briefly, I will not be able to truly rediscover my complete dedication to the things that used to seem like everything to me. This would parallel the feeling of being unable to rediscover our past innocence that Dickinson refers to in her poem. I do find it funny that she chooses to describe the exit from the comfort of our home as a "saunter" because we do not know to be worried while we are leaving, only after we have left. This makes us more confident than we perhaps should be, and can result in a more abrupt fall from grace. My hope is that I am not sauntering when I leave high school and my family in Connecticut, but I am sure that I will be unprepared for some aspects of the world outside of them.

 

    To be perfectly honest, I have not thought much about what my homes will be like when I return to Connecticut. I have spent so much time thinking about how being away will change me that it is difficult to come up with any fears for what will happen here. I suppose that like most people I am afraid that when I come back I will not recognize anything. Whenever I go back to my elementary school and there is a teacher there who I do not recognize, it can be difficult for me to come to terms with. This is because that means I have been away for a while and am therefore a bit older than I used to be. It will also mean that all of the comforts I have become reliant upon are no longer there. A place that used to be comfortable becoming unrecognizable and hostile is something I do not look forward to, although it is something that is inevitably going to happen. Consistency is comfort for me, so the thought of having my places of solace become altered is something I do fear. I suppose I am also a bit afraid of the idea of having a new perspective on my current world. While it is certainly a positive quality to be able to view things objectively, there is an instinctual bias in favor of the place where we grew up. It is difficult to describe what a "warm feeling" is, but even if you did not particularly enjoy your youth you will still feel nostalgic for your roots. Because of that, I am worried that once I return I will no longer have the rose colored glasses on and will feel less favorably for the area.